Apr

17

Back to After Cheese: Steven Seagal’s Half Past Dead, review in haiku

April 17, 2008 |

Half-forgotten blog/Insomniac ramblings/of a movie buff… 

Denver hotel Hell/on a snowy April night/watching “Half Past Dead“.

Poor Steven Seagal/starring in low-budget crap/that he writes himself.

Wikipedia/Hear the wisdom of the crowd/or one publicist.

Quote of the day: “The neutrality of this article is disputed.”

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steven_Seagal#Upcoming_projects_and_Cannibal_Holocaust_remake.

“Nature has its brutal side”, says Seagal, “and it’s not always pretty. In many ways, Cannibal Holocaust could be seen as a companion piece to my movie On Deadly Ground: a realistic, honest look on nature, on wilderness, only this remake will be a different part for me. It will be more violent, more brutal, Ruggero promised me that the animals’ deaths would be real, and I am excited”.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steven_Seagal#Animal_rights_work

He has worked with People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) to discourage the fur trade, and has written to the Prime Minister of India to seek increased legal protection for cows. Seagal worked effectively towards saving dogs destined to drown in Taiwan; he successfully sought the Premier of Taiwan to sign legislation limiting animal cruelty.

Seagal was awarded a PETA Humanitarian Award in 1999.

In 2003, Seagal wrote an open letter to the government of Thailand, urging them to enact a law to prevent the torture of baby elephants.

Mystical dog incident

While being interviewed by PETA, Seagal was asked to provide an example of a special interaction with an animal, to lend context and meaning to his animal rights work. Seagal offered the story about a dog which approached him during his early aikido years in Japan. Seagal described feeling as if he had known this white dog forever. After keeping the dog for a few days, the dog (by barking) warned Seagal that his dojo was on fire. Seagal quickly summoned help to put out the fire. He never saw the dog again.

Impossibly apt:/”Never saw the dog again”/That’s the oath I’ll take.


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